So Much
by Angela On My Shoulder
Summary: For this year's spring break, Tony and McGee decide to make a personal trip for a friend. Inspired by the Newton Faulkner song of the same name.


**So Much - _For this year's spring break, Tony and McGee decide to make a personal trip for a friend. Inspired by the Newton Faulkner song of the same name._**

Hello again my fellow Earthikins! Yet another oneshot written in the middle of the night.  
>I'd particularly like some feedback on what worked and what didn't in this story. If I'm not mistaken this is the longest piece I've written in first person and I'm not sure if my use of it was effective.<br>Happy reading!  
>~Angela<p>

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><p><em>"There's so much of you in everything I do<br>Just wish that you were still around"  
>- Newton Faulkner (So Much) <em>

Over the last few years my Spring Breaks have gradually declined in their 'immaturity', as once referred to. I don't really want to think it's because I'm getting older, but it would be pretty unreasonable to believe otherwise. My plans for this year were more of a spur of the moment decision after McGee and I realised that neither of us had anything scheduled. He had thought for a moment before making the suggestion – a moment of hesitation before proposing a visit to an old friend. He didn't mention a name; it wasn't necessary. To be perfectly honest the idea had been playing on my mind for a little while. I hadn't seen her in over five years, not since her funeral. It's not like I've blocked her from my mind, not at all. Not a day goes by when I'm not reminded of her. I owe her too much not to grant her at least this.

**-NCIS-**

The pure destination kept our few hours in the car reasonably quiet.

"We should get some flowers or something for Kate." McGee stated as we drove down the freeway.

A sign indicating the off-ramp for the next town appeared over the hill and I suggested we look for a florist there. I then informed him of her affinity towards geraniums and we both agreed that they would be ideal.

"What are you going to do when we get there?" I asked.

"I have no idea. Probably just talk to her, I guess. What about you?"

"I dunno. I've never really been to a person's grave before. Well, apart from funerals. And no offence, McJohn Edward, talking to a bit of rock is kinda weird." Arching my back, I dug into the left pocket of my jeans and fished out a folded piece of paper. "I wrote this thing for her last night. It's not really my style, but you can read it if you want. I kinda just filled her in on what's happened since she left, plus some other things…"

I began to pass McGee the note, but he gently pushed it back into me.

"Tony, if you wrote it then it is most definitely your style. Maybe not the one you show the world every day, but it's still yours."

Despite being a writer, McGee was never any good with coming up with words in verbal communications and these were particularly heartfelt, which was especially odd considering he was talking to me. I was stunned, but needed to show my appreciation, for both his words and his accompaniment. For a rare moment my mouth failed me so I just clapped my hand on his shoulder and gave him a firm squeeze. I'm pretty sure he got the message.

**-NCIS-**

We had succeeded in our search for a florist and purchased a bouquet of purple geraniums in one of the towns that McGee now carried as we searched the hundreds of plots in the cemetery. I scanned the headstones to our left and he did the same to our right. When he stopped suddenly I knew he had found the name we were after. McGee and I stepped forward and looked down at the epitaph. Not having read it before, I think it moved me more than it would have otherwise. I told him that I didn't read it at the funeral and he muttered something that seemed to echo a similar sentiment.

"Caitlin Heather Todd – made the ultimate sacrifice for her nation's greater good." He read. "Abby told me her parents chose the inscription. Gibbs suggested they make it something more personal to them, yannow 'loving daughter, forever in our hearts' and all that usual sappy stuff, but they said that her job was her lifeblood. That she felt that we were kind of her surrogate family in DC, the ones that took her in."

The welling of my emotions would only enable an acknowledging nod as I bent down to place the not against the headstone. McGee did the same with the flowers and I offered him a few minutes alone with Kate. He silently accepted and I walked further away, patting him on the back as I passed.

**-NCIS-**

Kate was sitting at her desk in the squadroom when a folded sheet of notepaper fell from above and landed in front of her. She carefully unfolded it and began to decipher the untidy scrawl with relative ease.

_Hey Kate. I'm sorry I haven't visited you before, but work has been keeping me super busy – you know how Gibbs is. Lots has happened since you left. We got Ari. He was shot in Gibbs' basement of all places. His half-sister Ziva took up your spot on the team. Don't worry though, she's __**definitely**__ a good guy, even if the rest of her family is messed up. Soon after you were shot, Morrow left NCIS to take up a position at Homeland Security and our new director was… different, to say the least. Her name was Jenny Shepherd. I don't know if you've bumped into her or anything wherever you are, but I bet you would've liked her. She was female empowerment and girl power and all that jazz. Plus she and the boss had some kind of mysterious history that kept us all entertained. When Jenny died we got yet another director – Leon Vance. He's certainly a character and no one really knows what to make of him. Oh, and you remember Paula Cassidy? She died saving us all, and preventing a terrorist attack. Sound a little familiar? I can just see you two sitting around, drinking mojitos while gossiping about me._

_But apart from that everyone's still there and more or less the same. Gibbs still manages to get by using as few words as possible. He and Abby still have their own caffeine addictions, although she has tried to give it up a few times over the years. Palmer's as creepy and inappropriate as ever, but he's beginning to assimilate. Ducky keeps on talking to the dead and is still cracking our cases for us. I guess the biggest change for all of us would be McGoo's slimming down! He's lost his chub and is less living-in-Mom's-basement kinda geek and more semi-respectable member of society. What else has happened since you've been gone? I was accused of murder. Three times. Gibbs got blown up, had amnesia and forgot us all before retiring to Mexico. I was promoted to team leader until her returned to DC and wanted us back, but who could blame him? I spent a year undercover bringing down an international arms dealer, but failed in some of the worst ways possible. Abby's had a few stalkers and people trying to kill her, but nothing we couldn't handle. McGee nearly lost his job while protecting his kid sister. Speaking of sisters, I met yours a few weeks ago. Rachel. She was pretty nice for a psych, and someone related to you. But she made me realise something that I suppose is the main reason I wanted to come here. I guess I want to thank you. You were the one that pushed me and competed with me, and I think that's what made me a better investigator and person. I mean, I was already totally awesome and infallible as it was, but you helped me go one up. Thank you Kate. I miss you. A lot._

– _Tony_

She looked up from the note and across the bullpen at the ghostly figure of her partner. He looked just as young as he did the day she died. Kate smiled before picking up the bouquet of purple geraniums from her desk and placing them carefully in a vase behind her. As soon as she had turned back to face her desk, the phone rang.

"Hello, McGee." She answered with a smile.

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><p><strong>Queries? Comments? Criticism?<br>\/ **


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